My birthday is December 22. When I mention my birthday, everyone's next question is "What is it like having a birthday that close to Christmas?"
The question is a bit difficult for me to answer. I don't feel that unique in that regard. I am the oldest of 3. My birthday is the 22nd, my sister's is the 14th, and my brother, who is 12 years younger than me, is ALSO the 22nd. Yes, all 3 of us were born within 8 days of each other. No, it wasn't planned (my brother and I both qualify as 'surprises'). Yes, my parents are poor planners. But once I became a teenager, I discovered if you count backwards, you arrive at their wedding anniversary ;)
So, at my house, everyone had a birthday at Christmas. I had my birthday to myself until my 12th. And when my brother was born, I really wanted a brother and thought it was cool to share my day with him. (If you ask me now...:))
When we were very young, my sis and I had joint birthday parties. As we got older, the parties split. I have had birthday parties at many different times of the year. January, February (Valentine themed), March, and April (Easter themed).
I don't think I have ever had a party on the actual DAY of my birthday. So many are traveling or just really busy trying to finish up. When we were younger, Mom and Dad gave us the 'big' present for our birthday, like a new bike. Christmas was all the smaller stuff. When you woke up on the morning of your birthday, all your presents were wrapped (in birthday paper) under the Christmas tree. (The Christmas presents were all shoved to the back). We each got to pick our birthday dinner, which was almost always at a restaurant. With the age difference between my brother and I, he picked lunch, say McDonalds or Burger King, and I picked dinner, say Red Robin. When I was a teenager, usually my birthday was the final day of shopping for our family. We usually went to the mall and worked on stockings and any final buying.
Because of the holiday, and no one really wants to shop more, I probably get more gift certificates than most. Or, I get taken out to eat. Some years, I have gone a week or more without eating dinner at home. That is not good for your waistline. Or the one year we got snowed in right after Christmas and we had no groceries in the house because I hadn't cooked in over a week, so no grocery shopping. Due to all the gift certificates, I have a large winter wardrobe and not much spring and summer clothes. The last couple of years, I have made myself save the gift certificates and spend them in the spring.
If you know anyone with a December birthday, take the time to wish them a great day. Try, if you can, to not roll Christmas and birthday into one. It is probably more difficult for kids than adults. (I used to think it wasn't fair that I only got presents once a year, when all my friends got presents TWICE a year.) As I got older, I understood that others forgot because they were busy. I am good about announcing my upcoming day (this blog maybe?? LOL) as a 'helpful reminder' to everyone.
So, now you have all had the most asked questioned answered for you today.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Bullying happens to everyone...
Bullying is something that has been happening to someone close to me. The media has really done us a disservice. We do see stories about bullying in the media, but they are always a child, teenager, or young adult. It does happen in those age groups, but it also happens to adults. My friend is the same age as I am. Her bullies? Adults as well.
What is not understood is the difference between having an opinion and bullying. Everyone has the right to their own opinion. I am fully aware that everyone does not, nor will they ever, agree with me 100%. The United States was founded so that people of differing opinions could have a place to live where they could act upon their opinions without oppression.
You have a right to your opinion. You have the right to act upon your opinions. If you don't want to see a movie, don't. If you don't want to read a book, don't. If you don't like a person, you have the right to walk away, not spend your time focused on them. You DON'T have the right to punish them. You DON'T have the right to make their lives a living hell. You can believe what you want.
We have just gone through a presidential election. I have many friends that have differing political opinions than I do. Many of them may not even know how I voted. I voted based on my opinions. I expect my friends did as well. But it is not my right to tell those people who voted differently than I did that they suck, they are dumb, and due to their vote I will make their lives a living hell.
Just as I have an opinion, you do as well. Be grateful that we live in a place that we are allowed those opinions and the right to act upon those opinions. But we also need to remember that our opinions cannot be forced on others, they cannot be an excuse to be evil to others, they are not a license to bully.
Have a clear understanding of this as an adult and take the time to talk with your children about these rights. Help them to understand that there will NEVER be a person that agrees 100% with their opinions. We live in a land of many opinions but we must know how to properly 'get along' with others.
One more note, be very clear of the laws of this land we live in. You may believe that I am a 'fraud', but if you go to a public setting, say Facebook or Twitter, and state your opinion, you have just broken the law by infringing on my rights. You have a right to your opinion, but if you state it as fact in a public setting, you have gone too far.
I have seen a lot over the last 15 months and have been shocked by the lengths people will go giving their opinions on situations that they have no personal stake in.
If you are reading this and you are being cyberbullied, let me give you some advice. Protect yourself. Print a hard copy of every incident as soon as it happens. That way, if the bully decides to delete it, you will still have a record of the abuse for prosecution if necessary. Surround yourself with the many who love you. Talk about it, don't keep it to yourself. Find trusted people who you can talk to and that will support you and help you remember who you truly are. If you need help, leave me a comment here and I can put you in touch with some resources and people who will and want to help you. If you comment here, no one will see it. I have the comments moderated and I will see your plea and respond to you without making that comment public. And know that no matter who you are, there are people who care about you.
What is not understood is the difference between having an opinion and bullying. Everyone has the right to their own opinion. I am fully aware that everyone does not, nor will they ever, agree with me 100%. The United States was founded so that people of differing opinions could have a place to live where they could act upon their opinions without oppression.
You have a right to your opinion. You have the right to act upon your opinions. If you don't want to see a movie, don't. If you don't want to read a book, don't. If you don't like a person, you have the right to walk away, not spend your time focused on them. You DON'T have the right to punish them. You DON'T have the right to make their lives a living hell. You can believe what you want.
We have just gone through a presidential election. I have many friends that have differing political opinions than I do. Many of them may not even know how I voted. I voted based on my opinions. I expect my friends did as well. But it is not my right to tell those people who voted differently than I did that they suck, they are dumb, and due to their vote I will make their lives a living hell.
Just as I have an opinion, you do as well. Be grateful that we live in a place that we are allowed those opinions and the right to act upon those opinions. But we also need to remember that our opinions cannot be forced on others, they cannot be an excuse to be evil to others, they are not a license to bully.
Have a clear understanding of this as an adult and take the time to talk with your children about these rights. Help them to understand that there will NEVER be a person that agrees 100% with their opinions. We live in a land of many opinions but we must know how to properly 'get along' with others.
One more note, be very clear of the laws of this land we live in. You may believe that I am a 'fraud', but if you go to a public setting, say Facebook or Twitter, and state your opinion, you have just broken the law by infringing on my rights. You have a right to your opinion, but if you state it as fact in a public setting, you have gone too far.
I have seen a lot over the last 15 months and have been shocked by the lengths people will go giving their opinions on situations that they have no personal stake in.
If you are reading this and you are being cyberbullied, let me give you some advice. Protect yourself. Print a hard copy of every incident as soon as it happens. That way, if the bully decides to delete it, you will still have a record of the abuse for prosecution if necessary. Surround yourself with the many who love you. Talk about it, don't keep it to yourself. Find trusted people who you can talk to and that will support you and help you remember who you truly are. If you need help, leave me a comment here and I can put you in touch with some resources and people who will and want to help you. If you comment here, no one will see it. I have the comments moderated and I will see your plea and respond to you without making that comment public. And know that no matter who you are, there are people who care about you.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Yes, I'm still here and I am still bad at this....
I want to be better at this. I have had lots of things roaming in my head for days. Some that I can talk about. Some that I can't. But I am finding more and more that I can work things out by getting them out and on 'paper', so to speak. So plan on checking in more often.
The thought I want to share today is that the way we treat others is a window to our souls. Not how we treat our friends, but how we treat those we don't know. Are you kind to the poor girl ringing up your Christmas presents? Even though the store didn't have what you want? How do you treat that teenager working at McDonald's so they can go to college? What about the barista who just got your order incorrect? What about that guy that just cut you off on the freeway?
My sis and I were just talking about this. She said she wants to walk away knowing that she made their day just a little bit better. After the clerk asks you how you are, she asks how they are. Just a simple question and a little understanding goes a long way.
Take a moment today to bless someone in that small way. Don't take out your frustrations on someone just because they are there. Try to spread a little joy to everyone, not just those on your Christmas list.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
L-dude's school problems
I know I have mentioned it on FB and Twitter, but for those of you who are confused, or wanting to know more, I thought I would lay out the situation here a bit more clearly.
The first thing I need you to know...If you happen to be one of my friends who I get to be with on a regular basis...L-dude knows NOTHING about this. As you continue to read this post, you will see why. Our decision not to tell him about this was made with his psychologist. So, my request is please don't mention this to him :).
Both boys have been attending school out of district for the last 6 years. There were many factors in that decision, which aren't really a part of this now. Each year I have to fill out a release form in the district where we live, and take it to the district headquarters of the district the boys attend in. Each year, around March, I get letters stating that they are both enrolled for the next year. The general message, in year's past, was that once you were 'in', you would remain 'in', so I have never really worried much about this process.
Around mid-March, I got the mail and there was a letter from the school district. My assumption was, it was the acceptance letter for L-dude. When I opened it, I was shocked to find that the school district had declared 9 schools 'closed' to enrollment for out of district transfers, both new AND EXISTING. Our elementary was on the list. The junior high J-man attends was not on the list, thank goodness. There was no information in the letter about an appeals process. Just a sentence saying that I was welcome to pick another school in the district that wasn't on the list and he could go there.
I love my little guy to pieces. But what many don't know is, he has a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He has been on medication for that for 1.5 years. He's sees a psychologist every other week. He does not do change well. AT ALL. Each fall, even though he knows his fellow students, the school building, and the basic staff, he worries all summer long about school starting each year. This fall, he did not relax at school until mid-November. It takes him that long to feel safe in his surroundings. His teacher noted this year that she really didn't get to know him as person until the second grading period.
So, being told that I should pick a school he has never seen and knows no one immediately sent us into battle. I have spoken to many at the school, at the district level. I have spoken at 2 school board meetings. I have worked with our favorite board member (We love you Ms D!) and tried to get an appeal process put into place. That is still in process. I have learned a lot about our district, school board, and superintendent through this process, a lot of it being not flattering to a district that is supposed to be one of the best in our state.
As part of the process, I had to file an appeal with the state Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. The appeal is to be heard by a judge. I asked many people if I needed an attorney for this process. I was told by all that I asked that I didn't need an attorney. I called in for the pretrial conference and found it to be WAY more formal than I thought and that the district had their attorney representing them. Not at all what I was led to believe. I was informed that I have to submit exhibits and witness lists. I have to make an opening and closing statement. I have to cross examine witnesses. All against someone who went to school for this and passed the bar, none of which I have done. It really threw me for a loop yesterday.
I have a plan. Since the case is next week, I won't share my plan right now. Now I am just giving myself the 'you CAN do this" pep talk. Please keep me in your thoughts as I prepare for this. The case is to be heard next Thursday at 9:00am. If you could spare a prayer for me then, I would appreciate that as well. I wish I didn't have to do this, but I feel like I owe L-dude and I need to be able to tell him that we did everything that we could in this fight. So I will press on.
And if you could pray for him as this all plays out. Pray for his understanding. Prayers for the next steps for him. That the right choices will be made and that he will be okay with whatever that is. I want to keep seeing this happy face as much as possible....
The first thing I need you to know...If you happen to be one of my friends who I get to be with on a regular basis...L-dude knows NOTHING about this. As you continue to read this post, you will see why. Our decision not to tell him about this was made with his psychologist. So, my request is please don't mention this to him :).
Both boys have been attending school out of district for the last 6 years. There were many factors in that decision, which aren't really a part of this now. Each year I have to fill out a release form in the district where we live, and take it to the district headquarters of the district the boys attend in. Each year, around March, I get letters stating that they are both enrolled for the next year. The general message, in year's past, was that once you were 'in', you would remain 'in', so I have never really worried much about this process.
Around mid-March, I got the mail and there was a letter from the school district. My assumption was, it was the acceptance letter for L-dude. When I opened it, I was shocked to find that the school district had declared 9 schools 'closed' to enrollment for out of district transfers, both new AND EXISTING. Our elementary was on the list. The junior high J-man attends was not on the list, thank goodness. There was no information in the letter about an appeals process. Just a sentence saying that I was welcome to pick another school in the district that wasn't on the list and he could go there.
I love my little guy to pieces. But what many don't know is, he has a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He has been on medication for that for 1.5 years. He's sees a psychologist every other week. He does not do change well. AT ALL. Each fall, even though he knows his fellow students, the school building, and the basic staff, he worries all summer long about school starting each year. This fall, he did not relax at school until mid-November. It takes him that long to feel safe in his surroundings. His teacher noted this year that she really didn't get to know him as person until the second grading period.
So, being told that I should pick a school he has never seen and knows no one immediately sent us into battle. I have spoken to many at the school, at the district level. I have spoken at 2 school board meetings. I have worked with our favorite board member (We love you Ms D!) and tried to get an appeal process put into place. That is still in process. I have learned a lot about our district, school board, and superintendent through this process, a lot of it being not flattering to a district that is supposed to be one of the best in our state.
As part of the process, I had to file an appeal with the state Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. The appeal is to be heard by a judge. I asked many people if I needed an attorney for this process. I was told by all that I asked that I didn't need an attorney. I called in for the pretrial conference and found it to be WAY more formal than I thought and that the district had their attorney representing them. Not at all what I was led to believe. I was informed that I have to submit exhibits and witness lists. I have to make an opening and closing statement. I have to cross examine witnesses. All against someone who went to school for this and passed the bar, none of which I have done. It really threw me for a loop yesterday.
I have a plan. Since the case is next week, I won't share my plan right now. Now I am just giving myself the 'you CAN do this" pep talk. Please keep me in your thoughts as I prepare for this. The case is to be heard next Thursday at 9:00am. If you could spare a prayer for me then, I would appreciate that as well. I wish I didn't have to do this, but I feel like I owe L-dude and I need to be able to tell him that we did everything that we could in this fight. So I will press on.
And if you could pray for him as this all plays out. Pray for his understanding. Prayers for the next steps for him. That the right choices will be made and that he will be okay with whatever that is. I want to keep seeing this happy face as much as possible....
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